Valentine’s Day… a day of love. But love for who? Historically it’s a day when we share love with our romantic partner, whether it be in the form of a material gift, special quality time together, or a mixture of both. On Valentine’s Day, a Valentine’s date is the essential ingredient in the mix.
How about if I challenged this for you? Let’s take a moment to think about this day as one dedicated to ourselves. This may sound a little egocentric, but believe me, it’s the best thing you could do for yourself as much as for your present, or future partner.
This thought takes me back to a day in secondary school when I was quite depressed because I didn’t have a Valentine’s date. I was 15 years old, so this really wasn’t an easy thing to deal with. You could imagine the ordeal as a teenage girl- the world was coming to an end and there was no way I could survive it!
Well, with the odds against me I’m happy to report that I survived that day and the ones that followed. Since then I have experienced times with a stable partner, times as a single girl with “passer-by’s”, as well as times on my own. I know the highs of being in love, the lows of heartbreaks, and the roller-coaster of introspection.
Of all the experiences, the times being on my own have required the greatest amount of strength. They have taken me on rides into the depths of self-reflection, pushing me to the surface where I could gasp for air and regain stability, but only after learning to be comfortable in my own skin.
I have questioned the reason why we give relationships the power to make us happy or unhappy- What is it about the company of another that can make or break our day? Is it possible to fill our own voids, and feel complete on days where we only have ourselves?
(Photo Cred: Mekkaman Films & Images)
The truth of the matter is that the hardest relationship to establish is the one that we have with ourselves. Loving ourselves unconditionally and having self-empathy demands daily effort and courage. It’s easier to enter a relationship and place our focus on someone else. We then hope that our partner will make our glass half full, rather than half empty. And trust me, this is the biggest burden that we can place on a relationship.
Irrespective of your relationship status, I encourage you to begin taking some time for self discovery. Choose to spoil yourself and do what makes you happy. While doing this dedicate time to get acquainted with your own nuances and make it your responsibility to fill your own emotional gaps.
If you don’t have one already, find a hobby that invigorates you. Clear your mind, and make loving and accepting yourself a priority. Loving yourself will be the biggest favor you can do to yourself, and by extension, to your current or future partner.
You could also do like me and have an incredible Valentine’s date with the wind! 😉
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!